Bodi

He came into my life on November 7th 2002. It was a Thursday, a very windy one too if I remember correctly. I woke up to the sound of the door of our mustang slamming shut and the gentle cooing voice of my mom. I got out of bed and in the window there he was. A little brown ball of fur in my mom's arms. I couldn't believe it, she actually did it. She got a dog. I raced downstairs to greet this creature at the door. My mom talking in hushed tones immediately led me to believe that this wasn't a family decision, this was a mom decision, and we were about to greet my dad in the living room. She plopped him down on my dad's chest, "here you go!" My dad trying his very best to be mad but this little puppy wasn't going to have that. It took one look at his face and we knew, we were his and he was ours.

We named him Bodhisattva. In Buddism, this is a person who waits to enter paradise in order to help others reach it first. Just to be clear, we're Christians but this felt perfect for us and for Bodi. He gave our life a special meaning. He taught us lessons we wouldn't have learned without him. He was the 5th piece to our puzzle. 

The next 12 years were the best of my life. Who knew that a dog could do that to you? I'm sure those of you who have owned or currently own any animals will share that same feeling. It truly changes your life. All in a flash, from the moment he climbed into my arms, I knew I would do anything for this creature. He was the love of my life. I was 10 years old and it was then that I finally knew what true love  meant. 

Bodi had a special relationship with all 4 of us. There were certain things he'd only do with me and not my parents or brother. The same went for the 3 of them as well. I've never seen that in any other dog I've come across. It's like he knew us, really knew who we were and connected with us. It was magical. 

On April 6th we said goodbye. 10 days prior Bodi had a lot of trouble walking, wouldn't eat. It happened overnight. Long story short, we think he may have had a brain tumor causing nerve damage.

I don't wish this feeling for my worst enemy. This is the worst pain I've ever been through. I feel like there is a hole in my heart. You don't realize how quiet the house gets either. It's gotten a little bit better each day but I'm having trouble getting Monday out of my head. We had an emergency vet come to the house. She was there for a total of 25min. Just like that. But we were with him in the comfort of home, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He felt no pain, he was safe in our arms. 

It's been a little over a week but it feels like longer. We picked up his ashes on Monday, another surreal and weird experience that I don't wish for anyone to go through. This whole process has drained me and my family too. You just feel like you're floating through each day. Like you're not really present or have a purpose in each task of the day. I have to remind myself to eat, to shower. 

But everyday I get these little visual cues from Bodi letting me know that he'll always be with us. I'm finding some comfort in that. I'm sure that 3 years from now I'll still find his hair in my clothes and I'll say a little hello to him. And I know that he'll let us know if another puppy is right for us. Maybe tomorrow or next year. We'll know when the time is right for us. And I know this isn't a final goodbye. I'll see my little man again in heaven where he's 2 again, running around. Smell his forehead, my favorite spot. I love you, sweetheart. I wish we had 12 more years.